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April 6, 2012

The Blubbering Bubby Breakdown

It may come as a shock to you that I have a tendency to become.. shall we say... theatrical. My temperament runs from slaphappy to fiery rage and can turn on a dime. But I rarely am given to fits of tears or hysteria. My people consider this weakness so I rarely indulge in such things. So it is with this in mind that one of you, who shall remain nameless, recently reminded me that I kind of glossed over some of the facts of Zander's, aka The Bubby, retrieval from the vet when he had his baby teeth removed.

You want the real story? Fine. Full confession, you got it.

The truth is we left at first light to make the long drive past civilization to the doggie dentist to get Zander that sunny and crisp Saturday morning. We were told that we could pick him anytime before noon. We left the farm before the roosters were up. I was cool as a cucumber the whole way up and only spoke to tell The Big Man to hurry up and drive faster. We got there in record time.

To be fair the car was mostly stopped when I lept out at the door of the vet's spectacular facility. I might have pushed an old lady down as I stormed in thru their double doors and made my way to the check in counter.

"I'm here for Zander!" I announced as The Big Man finally walked in thru the front doors after parking. "Where is my Bubby? I'm here. Tell him his momma is here."  I drummed my fingers on the counter as the incredibly kind receptionist turned to say hello.

Just at that second the vet came walking up, big smile her on face, and greeted me on that fine morning. She causally looked up from her charts and said in a careless tone, "Oh didn't you get our message? He's not ready yet. Zander will have to"

To be sure, I'm pretty joke-y around-y with most folks and we'd had a fun time with the vet when we dropped Zander off the day before. So it was not a surprise that she wanted to continue the funnin' around. Our poor vet. In one horrible instant she realized she has overplayed her hand. She went white."Oh .. no no no..." She tried to tell me it was just a joke.

There was about a half a second when my mouth was open, my face twisted with agony, but no sound came out. And then it happened. I cracked. The look on my face must have been priceless.

I started wailing as I collapsed across the check in counter. "The Bubby!  My Bubby! I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED my Bubby!"  ..... Followed by huge heaving sobs.

The Big Man was mortified..

I slowly slid down the front of the check in counter until I was hanging on only by my fingertips and was mostly on the floor. I was crying uncontrollably. Out of the corner of my eye I saw The Big Man try to walk out the door like he didn't know me. Traitor.

Everyone in the waiting room was holding their breath and recoiling at that crazy lady who obviously needed help.

Suddenly the vet staff sprang to action. Several vet techs ran in my direction as the vet tried to tell me that Zander was just fine, that he was right here...and then she turned and ordered someone to bring him out right now.

My wailing continued. "My Bu-u-u-bbbbbb-yyyyyyyyyyyyy......."

I vaguely remember two techs taking me, one under each arm, actually dragging me with my little limp feet trailing uselessly behind me to what my friend SD calls the "cry room." Usually its where they take people who are about to get bad news. Not for people who are there to get their perfectly fine pup.

The techs fluttered like flies around me but as soon as they brought Zander thru the door I shook off their attentions and hurled myself toward the perfect fine pup. Slobbering kisses. Snuggles. Wiggling. Oh and yeah.. Zander was happy to see me too and did the same thing.

After about an hour they declared me.. and for travel. From there, well you know the rest of the story. We triumphantly returned home and The Bubby made a full recovery. He's now right as rain and is only out of sorts when he's having a "growing" day. This adult teeth came in perfectly.

And that's what happened. We'll be seeing that vet again here sometime soon. I'm pretty sure they are gonna get that special room ready for me. I should probably just tell them to a bottle of tequila ready.

Happy Friday everyone!