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April 2, 2012

Good Fences Make Good Dogs

There's a couple things we don't understand about this part of the world - one of them is why people move out to the country and let their dogs run loose. Guess what we are doing this week?

If you get dogs, get this too. I'm tired of fencing out your dog.

I think that folks see these wide opens spaces and they imagine their Mr. Woofy running free with the wind in his hair...not imagining for a minute that Mr. Woofy is in my damn yard and chasing my chickens. Friends, I tell you the truth, the biggest threat to your flocks isn't slinking coyotes, foxy vixens, or terror from the sky - its your neighbor's damn dog. Or your damn neighbor's dog, depending on how you look at it.

Many a sad owner has shown up to find their dog, newly expired by GSW, in their neighbor's chicken yard and there is always the same whine, "But he'd never DO that." Might want to take a look at the feather's in his mouth, son. Just sayin'.

Nothing makes you as hat throwing mad as coming home to find someone's dog ripping your best laying hen to pieces. Standing there over her broken body, thinking about how it will take months to raise up new chicks to replace her, you kinda loose all that softheartedness that you might have once had.

The fact is - its not just a chicken. Its your life. Its your food. Its how you make your way in the world. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't think it was very funny if I barged into your home and grabbed then ruined a bunch of your food from your refrigerator or pantry. In fact, you'd call the cops.

What about animal control? Friend, the only animal control out here is "SSS."   Do you new folks know what this is?

Shoot. Shovel. Shut up.

I'm not even kidding. Personally I like the old trick of taking the dog to the pound two counties over.  If the owner is smart enough to find their dog they'll have to pay to get him out of the hoosegow.  But not everyone is as tender hearted as we are.

I had a new-to-the-country person tell me that shooting a livestock killing dog couldn't possibly be allowed by law. Well, in many rural areas it is. And yes people do this. But even where it isn't allowed by law, folks just grab the shovel and dig a shallow grave and shrug when asked if they've seen a dog around. That's what folks mean when they say "SSS."

The best line I've heard was from one ol' boy who's bad neighbor finally came looking for his chicken killing dog. The guy meets the dog's owner at the property line and says, "Sure I've seen your dog. The last time I saw him he was headed for the woods chasing my chickens. I sure hope he's alright."

You can imagine how that ended. So if you move to the country, let your dog run loose, and he doesn't come home one night, well you only really have yourself to blame.

We don't let our dogs run loose. If we did - and you were our neighbor - you'd pee your pants. And when I saw "pee your pants" I mean that some other kind of excrement would be soiling your trousers, if you take my meaning. So we don't understand folks who think this is OK. In fact it makes us kinda cross. I can't even tell how many hundreds of dollars we've spent on fencing someone else's dog out of our yard. Actually I could tell you I'm just too mad to think about it.

We know someone who moved to the country and lets their unaltered male dog run loose. Sure, all they think they are doing is 'letting him out for a while' but their yard isn't fenced and sometimes that dog comes back....and sometimes it takes a while before he shows back up. I can't imagine a more stupid idea. You just gotta know that somewhere nearby someone's show dog, Grand Champion Dame Schmutyz Von Vienerschnitzel, is having an unintended litter of short legged, curly headed doodlehunds.

This weekend we bought the last roll of field fence we needed for the dog moat on the north side of our property. Sunday we installed the railroad tie that stands as our monument to "Keep your stupid dog out of our yard" at the extreme front edge by the road.

The new fence is also there to keep people from driving their freakin' 4wheelers across our yard. Lets just say we had an incident with the same folks who couldn't control their beagle and leave it at that.  My attorney, actually her assistant, has the full written record of the events. And I have pictures. For once I'd like to say that I was not the name-caller in the hubbub, I'm kind proud of that.  

Anyway. That's the long and short of it. I'll be headed to TSC the first thing to get more tposts. You know what we'll be doing all week.

Anybody else have someone else's dog in their yard and mad about it? For heavens sakes you'd think that people would at least like their dog enough to keep it safe, even if they don't understand that responsible owners should keep their dog out of their neighbor's yard.